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Questions: 1. What is a technique useful in helping men cope with emotional hardship regarding their desire for intimacy? 2. What are six steps involved in Avoiding Taboo-Loaded Communication? 3. What are three steps to becoming aware of intimate discontent? 4. What are four principles for identifying hidden sources of knowledge? 5. What are the six steps of the stretching technique? 6. What are five steps to the experiencing neediness technique? 7. What are two ways to identify the cause of stress in an intimate relationship and help clients begin to cope with that stress? 8. What are four steps in the reromanticizing technique? 9. What is a productive technique for initializing intimacy as a way to foster intimacy? 10. What are the last three steps in the technique for Overcoming Limitations on Intimacy? 11. What are five roadblocks to friendship in the intimate relationship? 12. What is the first technique for the sanctity of the marriage bed? 13. What are two major areas of conflict resolution? 14. What are 9 techniques which can be used to build intimacy?

Answers: A.  A productive technique for initializing intimacy as a way to foster intimacy is the Overcoming Limitations on Intimacy technique.  B.  Two ways to identify the cause of stress in an intimate relationship and help clients begin to cope with that stress are the scale of fulfillment and rating aspects. C.  One technique for the sanctity of the marriage bed is the poem of the marriage bed technique.  D.  Two major areas of conflict resolution are factual conflict resolution and opinion-based conflict resolution.  E. Five steps to the experiencing neediness technique are confessing an inability to need, don’t fake it, keeping boundaries, confessing needs that can’t be experienced, and paying attention to what evokes hunger.  F. 9 techniques which can be used to build intimacy are decide to know the other people in your life instead of taking them for granted, interview people, let go of your need to possess or own the other person, consider how you can earn others’ goodwill, accept your insecurity with others, see knowing as a process, be there fully, be a true friend, and be willing to tell the truth.  G. The four steps in the reromanticizing technique are identify what is pleasing now, identify what used to be pleasing, identify what the client has always wanted to pleased by, and combine and prioritize.  H. Three steps to becoming aware of intimate discontent are experiencing feelings and defining what is wanted, and rediscovering old strategies. I.  the ‘Take the Opposite Track’ technique. J.  The six steps of the stretching technique are identify grievances, identify underlying desires, make a specific request, share underlying desires, rank requests, and exchanged lists.  K.  Four principles for identifying hidden sources of knowledge are most criticisms have some basis in reality, many criticisms are disguised statements of your own unmet needs, some criticisms may be an accurate description of a disowned part of the self, and some criticisms may help identify the lost self. L.  The last three steps in the technique for Overcoming Limitations on Intimacy are to identify a chronic complaint, isolated the desire, and compose a list of target activities on which to request action.  M.  Six steps to Avoiding Taboo-Loaded Communication are be specific, be straight, be direct, be clear, create a climate for honesty, and tell the truth. N.  The five roadblocks to friendship in the intimate relationship are there’s no time, "we’re not friends, we’re a couple", "we don’t talk like friends anymore", the ravages of conflict, and reckless words.

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Questions 15. What are the four categories of the intimacy status theory? 16. In what ways do men and women differ in intimacy? 17. According to Barbor, how does voice therapy allow greater intimacy? 18. What can profoundly affect one’s sense of self? 19. Why does Fingerman suggest that intimacy later in life is more rewarding for parent and child?   20. What was found to be the main differences in reported friendship closeness for females?  21. What do adolescent females experience higher levels of in their cross-sex friendships than do adolescent males? 22. Children's relationships with peers are believed to become much more intimate in adolescence, especially in later adolescence. At what point do male and female friendships increase in intimacy? 23. What are eight factors central to the make-up of intimacy?  24. What five areas of intimacy does PAIR assess? 25. According to Lloyd, what is at the heart of the tendency to forgive and remain in a violent relationship? 26. What are some examples of self-silencing behaviors?

Answers A.  Silencing behaviours include putting the needs of others first, censoring and repressing genuine emotion, and judging one's self according to external standards. B.  emotional intimacy, social intimacy, sexual intimacy, intellectual intimacy, and recreational intimacy C.  intimacy and emotional closeness D.  (a) Intimate, which is characterized by the establishment of mutual relationships (including a romantic partner) where self-disclosure takes place. (b) Preintimate, sharing some characteristics with the Intimate individual, this person is different in that he or she has not yet experienced a love relationship, but has had experience with dating and close friendships, and may be unsure about commitment, but possesses qualifies that predispose one to intimacy; (c) Stereotyped Relationship, where a person has relationships somewhat lacking in depth. (d) Isolate, generally lacking in genuine personal relationships. E.  It is suggested that women and men agree on what intimacy is, yet it is in their expression of intimacy, in their reports of intimacy, that they may differ. F.  In late life, intimacy feels more voluntary, more reciprocal, more mutual, and more controllable than the closeness that is demanded when offspring are young.  G.  affection, expressiveness, compatibility, cohesion, sexuality, conflict resolution, autonomy, and identity. H.  Kohut described how chronic empathic failures to satisfy the need for belonging in early childhood can profoundly affect one's sense of self. I.  romance J.  Males' friendships are not believed to increase in intimacy until age 17, whereas females' friendships increase in intimacy until age 14 and then level off K.  ( 1) develop closer and more intimate friendships, ( 2) stress the importance of maintaining closeness and intimacy, and ( 3) expect more closeness and intimacy in their friendships than do males L.  Voice therapy brings internalized negative thoughts to consciousness. The goal of voice therapy with couples is to help each individual identify the "voice attacks" that are creating conflict and distance in the relationship. In identifying specific self-criticisms as well as judgmental, hostile thoughts about the other, each partner is able to relate more openly.

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Additional post test questions for Psychologists, Ohio Counselors, and Ohio MFT’s